If You’re Angry And You Know It Clap Your Hands!
Positive psychology tells us happiness generally comes to those who practice kindness, gratitude and living in the moment. However, we can end up feeling like we need to be happy all of the time. If you believe that happiness is the “normal” state, the “right” state, suddenly you can be faced with an interesting problem.
What if I’m not happy? What does that mean?
Is something wrong with me? Am I sick, bad, or deficient?
I should be happy. NOT.
New studies say long-term happiness comes from allowing ourselves to be angry (and a full spectrum of other emotions). To be authentic, successful and in integrity, we get to let ourselves feel emotions appropriate to any situation—whether or not they are pleasant in the moment. Anger in the moment is different than holding on to resentment, guilt, blame, victim, or hate. Experiencing anger is not the same as holding on to it and then using it and becoming it to justify a belief. Anger is a basic human emotion. Anger can lead to positive change and can provide a great opportunity for personal insight.
Give yourself permission to have flexibility and access to full self-expression, like a child. Different situations call for different emotions, and responding with what is called for is healthier than making sure you respond happy, happy, happy. People who value happiness to an extreme are not necessarily happier than others.
Dr. Lori Todd, Legacy Center, Professor UNC (fantastic woman)
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